Wednesday, January 09, 2008

General Work Moan

Ickle tote closer I’ve ordered some more yarn from Get Knitted in their sale. It’s some more of the lovely SWTC Karaoke. Two skeins are for something for a friend. They don’t know about it yet. The other two skeins were going to be in the colour “black rose” but they ran out (they had 2 skeins last night, but I wasn’t the first person to try to snaffle them!) so I got the same colour as Crafty Drama Queen gifted me in the SP swap. Wild Cherry it’s called. It’s a fantastic colour too, reds and pinks – subtle but also pink. (See pic to left)

I’m blogging this now to take my mind off the fact that work sucks. It’s not that there’s too much or too little to do (there is plenty to do), it’s not that I don’t like my boss (because the current one isn’t bad), it’s not that some of my colleagues drive me bananas (in fact, I like my team) but it just sucks. The longer I sit at my desk trying to think of things to say in people’s feedback or appraisals, the longer I spend trying to figure out what the plan should be, the longer I take to read and reply to emails, the more I realise that I just don’t care.
What’s to care about really? I work in data in an insurance company. As a result of what I do not much happens. Okay, the company as a whole do some useful stuff. People pay the company lots of money so that when the worst happens they don’t have to worry about money. I don’t even feel especially good about that, though that’s another story.
I know that most jobs are as pointless. But some jobs do make a difference to people. Like cleaners. If the cleaners don’t turn up for a couple of days, we’d notice. The place would be dirty and smelly, we might not have any hand towels (though I’m not sure that the cleaners do that.) if the vending machine guy didn’t turn up we’d have no nasty vending machine coffee and tea. (As vile as it is, I’m much happier if I can have a cuppa.)
Anyway, my point is that I don’t necessarily want my job to be a happy-happy-joy-joy make-the-world-better type job, but I’d quite like to get some satisfaction out of it. Whether that be satisfaction that I’m providing a service, creating something or doing something I enjoy.

If I knew what it was that I didn’t like about this job then I’d have a starting point.

So, while I carry on merrily working put up with the dullness of this job I will take the odd chance to look at nice yarn, to read other people’s blogs, to doodle on notepads and generally procrastinate.
The funny thing is, the other day I was thinking that it wasn’t so bad. I wonder what’s happened today to make it seem worse? (my ex-boss is something to do with it, even I can see that, but still I can’t complain when he speaks the truth.)
Perhaps it’s my rebellious anti-authoritarian streak coming back to haunt me. Or maybe I have just been in the same place for too long. I have been here for four years and four months (and four days, tomorrow)
That’s a long time to be in one place. Even though I’ve been promoted, it’s the same old. I don’t know how many of you went to 6th forms attached to your secondary schools? It’s a bit like that if you’re promoted within your team. Everyone knows who you are already but they also have preconceived ideas about you. Changing people’s perceptions is like plaiting snot hard. And back then in 6th form when I felt like that my rebellious streak appeared. I made my hair a silly colour (black with a red hue, then red, then blonde) and wore clothes which were just outside of the uniform policy (skirts a bit too short, platforms when they were banned, tops with logos on them, jeans, you know the sort of thing) (oh – yes, we had “uniforms” in 6th form in that we had to dress like business people.)
Okay, I realise that doesn't sound too rebellious...
Anyway, I shall stop complaining. 6th form was less dull than work is. Though my hair is a funny colour again…

Perhaps it’s just winter blues?

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