I’m blogging this now to take my mind off the fact that work sucks. It’s not that there’s too much or too little to do (there is plenty to do), it’s not that I don’t like my boss (because the current one isn’t bad), it’s not that some of my colleagues drive me bananas (in fact, I like my team) but it just sucks. The longer I sit at my desk trying to think of things to say in people’s feedback or appraisals, the longer I spend trying to figure out what the plan should be, the longer I take to read and reply to emails, the more I realise that I just don’t care.
What’s to care about really? I work in data in an insurance company. As a result of what I do not much happens. Okay, the company as a whole do some useful stuff. People pay the company lots of money so that when the worst happens they don’t have to worry about money. I don’t even feel especially good about that, though that’s another story.
I know that most jobs are as pointless. But some jobs do make a difference to people. Like cleaners. If the cleaners don’t turn up for a couple of days, we’d notice. The place would be dirty and smelly, we might not have any hand towels (though I’m not sure that the cleaners do that.) if the vending machine guy didn’t turn up we’d have no nasty vending machine coffee and tea. (As vile as it is, I’m much happier if I can have a cuppa.)
Anyway, my point is that I don’t necessarily want my job to be a happy-happy-joy-joy make-the-world-better type job, but I’d quite like to get some satisfaction out of it. Whether that be satisfaction that I’m providing a service, creating something or doing something I enjoy.
If I knew what it was that I didn’t like about this job then I’d have a starting point.
So, while I
The funny thing is, the other day I was thinking that it wasn’t so bad. I wonder what’s happened today to make it seem worse? (my ex-boss is something to do with it, even I can see that, but still I can’t complain when he speaks the truth.)
Perhaps it’s my rebellious anti-authoritarian streak coming back to haunt me. Or maybe I have just been in the same place for too long. I have been here for four years and four months (and four days, tomorrow)
That’s a long time to be in one place. Even though I’ve been promoted, it’s the same old. I don’t know how many of you went to 6th forms attached to your secondary schools? It’s a bit like that if you’re promoted within your team. Everyone knows who you are already but they also have preconceived ideas about you. Changing people’s perceptions is
Okay, I realise that doesn't sound too rebellious...
Anyway, I shall stop complaining. 6th form was less dull than work is. Though my hair is a funny colour again…
Perhaps it’s just winter blues?